Coping and Caring After Loss
Most people can recover from a loss on their own, but some simply cannot.
It is often said that coping with the loss of a loved one is perhaps one of the greatest challenges you will face in your life. Depending on the relationship to your loved one, the loss can be devastating. While loss is a natural part of life, it still causes intense emotional pain and grief nonetheless. Generally, our lives are turned upside down for a period of time while grieving. And for some, that period of time extends to the point of needing serious help, support, and guidance.
There is no normal time period for someone to grieve. Those with strong social support and healthy habits are able to navigate recovery on their own. Yet there are numerous factors to consider when working towards healing and recovery. As human beings, we are naturally resilient. But what helps us build that natural resilience are learned and practiced healthy coping mechanisms.
Types of Coping Mechanisms
- Support. Help is always available when grieving the loss of a loved one. Joining a support group, speaking to a spiritual advisor, or seeking professional therapy should all be included as a resource for coping.
- Relaxation. It is important to pay attention to the needs of your body. Mourning can impact us physically, mentally, and emotionally. Relaxation can include simple meditation, reading words of encouragement, and resting.
- Humor. This may seem impossible, careless, and even insensitive. However, finding joy playing with kids, watching light-hearted tv shows, or enjoying a silly conversation will help keep emotions balanced and in perspective.
“To everything, there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heavens. A time to be born, and a time to die. A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted. A time to kill, and a time to heal. A time to break down, and a time to build up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh. A time to mourn, and a time to dance.”
These words were penned in the Bible before 1000 BCE. Yet here we are today still able to find comfort in King Solomon’s words. This bible verse extends grace allowing us to experience and express emotions, while simultaneously encouraging us to remain active and occupied. In this scripture, we can hang the grieving process. The first strategy as it relates to implementing coping mechanisms is to understand that God has assured us everything has its time.
Moving Towards Recovery
- Talk. The worst thing a person can do after experiencing the death of a loved one is to self isolate. Of course, you are going to need time alone, but total isolation will only deepen the sorrow. Not only will talking to others help but talking about the loved one will also have healing properties.
- Accept. Mourning can impact our sensory and our thinking. Accepting the nuances of mourning relieves stress factors. In the spirit of accepting, accept the range of emotions you will experience. Additionally, some may prefer denial than accepting the loss of their loved one. This can prove harmful.
- Remember. Although your loved one is gone, memories live on forever. Remember good times. Thoughts are going to be racing in your head. Why not flood them with fond memories? When beginning to feel overwhelmed, recall the good times. Happiness and smiles will override any sadness.
During the grieving process, it is important to not self-isolate. Always seek support by way of friends, family, spiritual advisor, or a professional therapist.
About Dr. Portia Lockett:
Everyone has a purpose, but not everyone knows their purpose early in life. At the age of seven, Dr. Portia Lockett was clear on her calling: teaching and encouraging others, which later evolved into her being a schoolteacher that inspired students to be their best regardless of their path. Eventually, she transitioned into speaking and training for major corporations and nonprofits which included but was not limited to UAW GM, Chrysler, and Goodwill Industries. Later becoming a licensed and ordained Chaplain allowed her to support and encourage individuals from the womb to the tomb. Eventually being led into the world of being a missionary allowed her to travel and support the underserved in Japan, Barbados, Mexico, Bahamas, Canada, Kenya, and Jamaica. Like most of us, Dr. Portia has experienced a few traumatic episodes in her life, but through grace, the favor of God, and self-determination, she pulled herself up and kept it moving forward each time. Lockett has received several awards and her most recent include the City of Detroit Spirit Award, Michigan Chronicles Women of Excellence, and the Career Mastered Winning Spirit Award, and The Power of One award. Lockett is the co-author of Anointed Moments meditational CD and an Amazon # 1 seller Delayed But Not Denied 2, featured lyric writer and psalmist of Happy Birthday Jesus. She’s been featured on CNN, National Geographic, BET, The Michigan Chronicle, The Detroit News, and Radio One. She is an active member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc.
