By Dr. Portia Lockett, Contributing Writer
I can remember vividly my mother standing in the kitchen with a colorful apron wrapped around her 25-inch waistline as she stirred the pots on the stove. I can even smell the chicken and dumplings simmering which was one of my favorite dishes. I remember her scent of sweet honey and on Sundays Diamond by Elizabeth Taylor. Just as if it was yesterday, I can see her coming down the staircase wearing one of her big hats slanted to the side to accent a fitted polka dot dress with lace sleeves, and black patent leather sling backs. Let me not forget her red Maybelline lipstick. So many awesome memories that I choose to keep alive. Continuing the legacy of my deceased mother is a meaningful way to honor her life and maintain a connection to her.
These are few things to consider doing to honor your mother to keep her memory alive:
- Create a memory box or a scrapbook filled with photos, letters, and mementos that remind you of your mother. Share stories about her with family and friends to keep her memory alive.
My sister wrote a poem to honor my mother; it was awesome to hear and to see her perform it.
- Carry forward traditions, continue traditions she started, whether it is a holiday ritual, a family recipe, or a community activity. This can be a comforting way to feel her presence and pass down her values to the next generation.
My mother was a hugger, so every chance we get; we hug each other as if we are playing a harp on each other’s back.
- Emulate her values, reflect on the core values, lessons your mother stood for, and strive to embody these in your own life. Whether it was kindness, perseverance, humor, or resilience, living out these values can be a powerful tribute. My siblings and I often share her quotes. The one that sticks out with me is:
“I’m the queen of this kitchen; I reign supreme, if you don’t like it starve!”
- Support causes she cared about, engage with charities or community groups she supported. Volunteering your time or donating to causes important to her can make a positive impact in her name. My mother enjoyed working with the children in her church.
My eldest living sister volunteers and tutors the children at Shiloh Baptist church and is keeping that legacy alive.
- Offer guidance in her spirit! If your mother was known for giving great advice or being a supportive figure, offer similar guidance and support to others.
In my line of work as an inspirational speaker, grief recovery method specialist, spiritual advisor and chaplain, I give support and advice daily.
- Write or speak about her as you share your experiences, lessons learned from her, or simply expressing your thoughts about your mother through writing or speaking can help others and provide personal solace.
When my mother answered her phone, she would say: Hello you have reached the house of love, joy, peace and happiness, leave a message if you will, love!
- Celebrate Her Birthday! Keep celebrating her birthday with a favorite activity of hers, her favorite meal, or by gathering loved ones to reminisce. By incorporating these actions into your life, you can keep your mother’s memory vibrant and continue to feel her influence, even after she has passed.
My sisters and I have named November 17: Marguerite P. McIntosh day. We all wear something of hers on that day.
- In the event, your mother passed and you were not in good standing, you can write her a letter to apologize or that you forgive her. In addition, find a childless senior and adopt her, love her right where she is now and create a bond that you can both benefit from.
Stay in touch:
www.azalbennelockettfoundation.org
http://www.linkedin.com/drportialockett/
